What's your first priority?
Over heard At a couple's counseling session:
Husband: ...and my wife just doesn't get it, she kept arguing even though I proved I was right!
Counselor: Yeah, sometimes we all forget what's most important.
Husband: To be right?!
Counselor: No, to be kind.
It's so easy to make quick and mean judgements. How many times in traffic do you scream 'goooo, fucker!'. Or 'that bitch made me miss that light, I could kill her!'.
Argument with spouse or child, crazy self criticism -- it's all the same. If you had one more wicket added between your senses and your reaction, make it the question: 'am I being kind?'
If kindness was everybody's first priority, life would be pretty sweet.
In your relationships: They deserve kindness. You deserve kindness in return. It's free. It takes one small filter inserted into your brain. Practice it!
The rub: how can I be kind when fuck-face over there isn't going to be!?
The hard answer: show fuck-face exemplary behavior. It may be the hardest thing you can do. But it's the right thing.